Four - More

4.1 - My Understanding of God

My grandparents (mother's parents) raised me in the Baptist church so Christianity was my early introduction to religion and God. I have various opinions and experience on/with religion that are beyond the scope of this section, but it's worth mentioning my early exposure to God, which were positive.

What existed before and after my experience at church was my deep sense of reverence. I've always had it. Whatever is the object of my reverence, that is my current understanding of God. God is the essense of who we are. More, I think God exists and is available to all people and we are united to that end. That unity is strangely and unfortunately at conflict with man's evolution and implementation of societies as I know them. As a people (and for mother nature), we can be better for each other.

I've long tried to name the object at the focus of my reverence; to understand and prove it. To commune with others around it. I haven't been successful. Each time I sit to organize my thoughts around the subject I always resolve in confusion. In sort of an exhaustive defeat, I've become more comfortable with beliving my reverence while unable to explain it. Maybe that's "acceptance". Maybe I need to re-assess my strongly-held belief. But when I view the long-road of blessings and good fortune in my life—combined with my natural reverence—I feel strongly that reverence is in order.

I use religious language. I pray. I write to God. I encourage others to know God. I do all of this without believing any particular body of religion or philosophical order. I feel OK being uncertain about The Way while still knowing A Way exists.

Life is miraculous. The Universe is grand and beyond our comprehension. There is holiness in us all. May God bless us all along our way.

EDIT: I recognize the many arguments and contridictions to my thinking. As I said, I'm confused about the subject. Nonetheless, reverence persists.